When I started ColorMeRead I had very good intentions. Then life decided to take me on a totally unexpected journey, and ColorMeRead was neglected by me, but helped along by a wonderful group of women who supported the idea of my having a reading blog and who supported me through my unexpected journey when I received those words that no one ever wants to hear…You have breast cancer.
I was extremely fortunate to have a great team of doctors who supported me when I was hysterical. Who gave me great advice, and saw me through some terrible decisions and made me feel like I mattered even when I had to suffer through appointments and exams I felt were humiliating.
Along with that great team of doctors I had amazing friends who let me cry, let me laugh, and gave me great perspective. Without the support system I was able to put together rather quickly I don’t know if I would have come through the other side. Yes I didn’t come out the other side the same person I was before…I was slightly depressed, but at least I had my sanity.
What suffered the most was my concentration and my joy of reading. Every year I set a goal of reading 100 books whether they’re print or audio, and this year I won’t come anywhere close because I couldn’t concentrate on a book. When I read I would enjoy what I was reading, but I would find myself quickly bored by reading. I kept myself entertained by doing more crossword puzzles than I probably have in my entire life. I also got into adult coloring.
Now 6 months later I’ve been through a double mastectomy, reconstruction surgery, and genetic testing. I was extremely lucky I didn’t have to do radiation (thanks to my choice to do a mastectomy vs. a lumpectomy) and thankfully I was caught soon enough that I managed to escape chemo as well. I also don’t have the genetic mutation, so my risk of recurrence stays low, and another surgery to remove my ovaries is unnecessary. I’m also beginning to feel more like myself as my doctor appointments get to be spread further and further apart. Lastly I’m beginning to find my joy in reading again, and hope to be as much a contributor to ColorMeRead as my wonderful friends have been.
Thank you to all of them for supporting me, and not giving up on me. To the rest of you…get a mammogram. I’m proof they work!